Cruel, but Honest?

Another sensless killing, another avoidable accident, another life recently curtailed...

They happen all the time, and the more newsworthy of them hit the headlines. Now the Gnome is of course not one to to be unmoved by the suffering of others but is he the only one to notice these events only seem to happen to the brightest, most loving, socially aware amongst us?

For every time a life is lost in tragic circumstances friends, relatives and work/school colleagues can be guaranteed to describe the deceased in glowing terms. 'Wonderful person', 'friends to everyone he knew', 'had an incredible future ahead of her', 'nobody who met him was not changed by his presence' etc. etc.

If by any chance the Gnome should succumb to a moment of random cruelty or misfortune, perpetuated by a disinterested and angry member of the Gods, he would like those who speak of him to be honest - no matter what the effect. In fact, to ensure he is sent to the afterlife with a grin on his face, he would appreciate some creative untruths to be provided to the media about his life. May one suggest some of the following?

"The Gnome had an incredible future ahead of him, but ruined it in an orgy of drink and drugs"

"He was a wonderful person if you liked sarcastic, mean bastards"

"He touched everyone he met, but thanks to a good legal team he was never charged"

"Nobody who met the Gnome was not changed by his presence. They would arrive happy and contented in life and leave him feeling miserable and suicidal"