The Gnome can’t seem to help himself when in lifts – they seem to be a veritable hotbed of interesting conversations. Today, in the lift of a large council building he heard the following alarming news… “The bollard situation has now become critical – there are some people in this council who are working against us.”
A critical bollard situation? What could that be? Too many? Too few? The wrong kind? Is there a government appointed bollard tzar handling this critical issue on our behalf? Can we expect a bollard hotline to be set up, similar to the much lamented cone hotline initiative by the failing Major government of 1997?
And who are the insurgent forces trying to overthrow the existing bollard hierarchy? Are they like the Rebel Alliance in Star Wars – freedom fighters against the current bollard hegemony?
So many questions remain unanswered – contact your local councillor now, but be careful. He may turn out to wear a black full face helmet and breathe heavily through a respirator.