Monday, April 2

Lunacy in the Aisles

The Gnome would love to claim this story as his own experience, but has to give credit where credit is due. Like all long-running sagas, it is important to occasionally bring in fresh characters to keep the readers interested so please be introduced to the never previously blogged character of Father-in-law Gnome and his recent experience in a Yorkshire supermarket.

Perusing the vegetables (although the Gnome is sure his true thoughts were with the puddings in the next aisle) an elderly, wild-eyed man approached him and waved a vegetable in front of his face.

To Father-in-law Gnome’s astonishment he shouted out in a voice loud enough to be heard the other side of the Pennines…

“They have the nerve to call this a carrot? My f**cking dick is bigger than this…”

He then walked off, apparently satisfied his complaint had been registered by the proper authorities.

What was truly bewildering about the incident though was that the vegetable he had been waving about so aggressively was in fact an aubergine, which makes the Gnome wonder whether all the stories he has heard about Yorkshire inbreeding are quite so exaggerated after all…

1 comment:

Bonzo said...

Despite the confusion over vegetables it has to said that if the irate shopper's anatomy was indeed larger than an aubergine that would be either impressive or indickative (sic) of an unusual affliction.